Safety
Let's stop lying about how we really are.
I am honored to have joined my friend and massage therapist Katie on her podcast.
She has been a safe place for me, not just on her table, but in allowing me to show up exactly as I am, on the easy days and the hard days.
I hope you enjoy this conversation.
What If The Most Radical Thing You Could Do Is Trust Yourself?
I sat down with my dear friend Sam Nelson, hairstylist of almost twenty years and brand new author of Ten Things You Might Need to Hear Today. We talked about the long road back to trusting your own body, your own knowing, and your own voice after a lifetime of being told you’re wrong about your own experience.
Sam has been doing hair for nearly two decades, but what she really loves is the people. Over the past few years she has been on her own journey discovering she is ADHD, watching her husband and kids navigate their own neurodivergence, and learning what it means to come home to herself. That journey turned into a podcast, then a Substack, and now a book.
We talked about the moment everything clicked for her, what it took to get there, and how that kind of self trust ripples out into everyone around you. This conversation moves through imposter syndrome, epistemic injustice, peer support versus hierarchy, and what it actually looks like to sit with someone in their hardest moments without trying to fix it.
KEY THEMES AND TAKEAWAYS
From a young age we are taught to override our own signals by caregivers, teachers, and authority figures who can’t tolerate our discomfort
Trusting yourself often starts with small unexplainable choices that, looking back, turn out to be exactly right
You don’t need letters after your name to know what you’ve learned through living your life
Holding space for someone else’s hard moment, without trying to stop it, gives them permission to actually feel it
Toxic positivity rarely helps anyone feel seen. Sometimes the most healing thing is simply saying “yeah, this sucks”
Epistemic injustice describes how some people’s experiences get believed and others don’t, and naming it can be powerful
Peer relationships, without a power dynamic, can sometimes reach people in ways professional relationships can’t
Co-trusting means lending someone your belief in their own knowing until they can hold it themselves
Systems like capitalism and patriarchy benefit when we don’t trust ourselves. Choosing self trust is its own quiet rebellion
OUR FAVORITE QUOTES
“The hardest thing I’ve ever learned to do is trust myself.”
“I cannot be an expert in your internal experience, just like you can’t be an expert in mine.”
“Every time I do the thing that feels most aligned with myself, even if I have no logical explanation, it always is the right thing for me at that time.”
“Let’s stop lying about how we really are.”
“Every time I trust myself more, that system loses a little bit of power and I get a little bit of my own power back.”
CHAPTER MARKERS
00:00 Meet Sam Nelson, hairstylist and new author
02:30 The ADHD discovery that changed everything
06:00 The hardest lesson: learning to trust yourself
07:30 How we’re taught to override our own signals
14:00 Sitting with someone else’s hard moment without fixing it
24:00 Epistemic injustice and not being believed
33:00 Co-trusting and the ripple effect
43:00 Trusting yourself as an act of rebellion
YOUR TURN
This week’s reflection: where in your life are you still waiting for someone else to tell you what you already know to be true? What would it look like to trust that knowing, even just a little?
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How to connect with Katie
Website: https://www.attunewellness.love/
Say hi to Katie on Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/_.kjo._/